by Masami Kelly
Cambridge, Mass.
At the start of 2022, I asked myself what I needed most for my happiness. My negative self-talk often says that other people don’t like me or won’t listen to what I have to say. But I realized that I needed to live not based on anxiety but on the conviction that my life is Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.
My women’s leader told me that when we help others heal, we heal ourselves. I used to think that my social anxiety prevented me from helping others. But now I was beginning to believe that planting seeds of Buddhahood could become the medicine I needed.
With renewed determination, I wrote to Ikeda Sensei that I was going to share Buddhism with others to become happy. That’s when things really started to change; I carried Nam-myoho-renge-kyo cards everywhere I went, and with each person I met, I shared even one thing about my Buddhist practice.
One memorable moment was during date night with my husband. The restaurant was so busy, and we had not been assigned a server. When I looked around, I noticed that we were the only people of color there. I started feeling discouraged, completely dismissed. Just as I was starting to feel powerless about the situation, I decided: I will not leave here feeling this way. I need to plant seeds before we leave. My determination reminded me that I have everything I need within to bring joy into our date night.
We shared Nam-myoho-renge-kyo with two people at the restaurant. I immediately felt a tremendous sense of joy. By the time we left, my husband and I were smiling and laughing. The server, who I had thought was not attentive to us, was so appreciative when we shared Nam-myoho-renge-kyo with him. He told us that he had been looking into Buddhism, and he was excited to check out the Buddhability website!
When I share Nam-myoho-renge-kyo with the person in front of me, I can express my most authentic self. Planting seeds is the quickest and most effective way to reconnect to my Buddhahood so that I can respond to any situation with a deep sense of joy and respect. And it is not only directed toward the other person; I feel joy for being who am, and I respect my life. Because I decided to respond to a discouraging situation by planting seeds, our date night turned into the most joyful and wonderful night!
The benefits of planting seeds are amazing, the biggest of which is that I feel free from my anxiety, more so than ever. This is because I transformed the function of my anxiety; it is now a reason to share Buddhism.
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